Sex Sells
by David Love
Summary: Soooo Messy... SETO KAIBA IS A MALE PROSTITUTE!!!! Yes, indeed-ie-doo! This is his tale about the costumers, the rivals, and when business aptly turns to pleasure
1. Seto's Hobby

Cricket: OKAY! Fanfic time! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!  
  
Avaline, Yami, and Hikori: *.afraid*  
  
Cricket: What? You KNOW you can't wait for this one!  
  
Avaline: Okay. What is it this time?  
  
Cricket: Well, lets see. *watches Kaiba walk by* I'm getting something. *sees Yami's outfit and the way he dresses* And more is coming. *notices Tea acting like a slut* THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!!  
  
All: *are blown over backwards*  
  
Cricket: Heh. No STOPPING ME NOW!!!!! *beings typing furiously*  
  
Avaline: *reads over her shoulder* THIS one's gonna be interesting!  
  
Cricket: Heh. Shower scene. Gotta be a shower. *types*  
  
Avaline: *smacks forehead*  
  
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Seto's Hobby  
  
"The most powerful position is on your knees" proclaimed a sign outside the church across from Seto Kaiba's hotel room. He woke up, stretched, and went to the window, only to find this message staring back at him. He blinked as it sunk in so that he could make sense of it. Slowly, his lips turned up in a playful smile. Sex sells. He laughed, thinking about the morons going home to try it. Ignorant people, like Yugi. Shiiiiiiiver. No. He didn't want to even imagine Yugi in any kind of position at all.  
  
What a strange thing to wake up to. How very curious it seemed. Especially since business had been slow the night before. He paused a few more minutes at the window, then went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Raising his eyes, he caught his own reflection.  
  
A pair of icy, enticing eyes that had mastered the Come Hither look stared back. His jaw was square, his lips a soft pink, a smug grin playing across them. His coffee-colored hair fell over his forehead and into his eyes when he tipped his head down. His shoulders were strong and his chest was broad. He was, in fact, too sexy for this life.  
  
"Good morning, you rich bastard," He said to his reflection, confidence flowing like chocolate through his deep and masculine voice. "Remember, you're providing a valuable service for those in need. And don't you ever forget it!" He grinned, making his fingers into a gun and pretending to shoot his reflection. How cheesy.  
  
Shedding his boxers, he stepped under the hot stream of water in the tiny hotel shower. Contemplating what he intended to do that day, he used all the Free Hotel Soap and Complementary Hotel Shampoo. He squeezed the scentless shampoo out with a single squeeze allowing it to burst out, cleansing his hair in one, drenching rush. He quickly wove his fingers through his hair to get out any soapy remnants, and abruptly looked up to the showerhead allowing the water to caress his smooth, clean-shaven face. He slowly turned the shower knob off, and threw open the small glass barrier that allowed him to shield himself from reality. He snatched a scratchy hotel towel from the rack to his left. He carefully studied himself in the mirror, as though he were a great piece of artwork. Using this reference, he sculpted his hair, studying it from all angles before finally deciding he was satisfied. He stared at the door for a moment, wondering if he should open it, or simply stay in this peaceful steam room, where he could be alone with his reflection. But life would not stop just because he did; he reluctantly opened his door, and grabbed his Domino high uniform, which was clean and pressed by the maids, and looked at it. He had to laugh. His personality hardly fit this innocent schoolboys getup. Ironic as it felt, he threw it on, and strolled over the kitchenette to awaken himself with coffee. He wanted to dunk his head into it. Instead, He took a long swig from it, drinking half of the pot in one, long gulp. He took in a long, deep breath before grabbing his silver briefcase (polished, of course.) and heading out the door.  
  
He walked briskly out of his hotel, not even bothering to greet the doorman before leaving. Only one thing was on his mind; getting from point A to point B. The glances he got from either gender did not distract him in the least. Despite his low profile walk and expression, one could not help but notice Seto Kaiba. His mysterious ways demanded attention. He was never really the kind of guy to tell anyone about himself. Heh, if only they knew, he thought, If only they knew.  
  
A girl with soft, sad brown eyes stood on the street corner with a pale boy in a leather jacket. Typical high school juvenile rubbish. Not the kind he usually associated with. But, when he looked into the girl's eyes as he passed her on the street, he saw the need in her. Need to be loved, to be held. She didn't seem to be getting any of that from the pasty-faced loser standing at her right, a cigarette in one hand, which, Seto could tell by taking one look, he didn't know how to smoke. No, that girl didn't need a too-cool-for-skool guy like this. She needed a real man. Like him. As he passed her, her scent was evident. A soft, Rosewood perfume and something of ice. He smiled, and caught her soft, coca eyes. Licking his lips, he winked and slid into the limo that awaited him at the edge of the street. Retreating to the soft, dark, leather interior as the car started forward, he smiled, knowing that you didn't have to be any less then five feet away from her to know that she was a virgin.  
  
Yes, he knew virgins. They were different. You could tell. Well, as long as you had the experience he did. Seto Kaiba had the experience, yes, but he wasn't a slut. Sluts sleep around with no intention of getting anything in return but notoriety as a slut. Seto was paid for his services.  
  
He didn't need the money. He had too much of it as it was. He'd been juggling the company of KaibaCorp and school life, but how was that enough? He needed some serious spice in his life. (oh, yes; so serious about his spice.) Besides; he thought, feeling very business-like, he was providing a necessary service to the community. Such a. . . what was the word he was looking for, considerate man he was! He was constantly creating such illusions for himself to avoid guilt. He was a beginner after all and, for now, required these illusions. He sighed, and leaned against the soft, cushy leather headrest. He closed his eyes for just a moment, as though he were trying to grasp a thought that he knew would never come to him. But before he could escape in dreams, the sleek limo (waxed, of course.) slowly stopped, not making a sound. How Seto hated noise. He gripped his briefcase, his partner in crime, and let himself out the door. He would be rotting in his grave before anyone opened the limo door for him; it was all a part of his power. Unintentionally making a show out of it, he sauntered away from the vehicle and leaned against the side of the school, where he could gaze upon the girls of domino high from a safe distance, trying to form his idea of the "Ideal workers."  
  
Mai Valentine. What a body. Long, flowing blonde hair that fell to her waist and shone in the softest of lights (which is a good quality since most people like the lights low). Giant, amethyst eyes, which were rumored to only be contacts, but it wasn't like that mattered. Soft, full lips often accented with a sultry smile. And of course, no stranger to showing off her perfect curves in scandalously revealing clothes. Yes, she would defiantly make a fine "item" on his "menu". He never referred to his business as what it was: illegal, underhanded, overhanded, anyway way you want it. To him, him it was a restaurant and everyone he hired was a recommended dish. He liked to brag that his customers ALWAYS came out satisfied.  
  
The best thing to Seto was that no matter what he chose as a hobby, he always learned to experience it for himself, firsthand.  
  
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Cricket: In case you didn't get the memo.  
  
Avaline and Cricket: SETO KAIBA'S A MALE PROSTITUTE!!!!!!  
  
Cricket: But you didn't hear it from us!  
  
Hikori and Yami: *sweatdrop*  
  
Avaline: ONTO THE NEXT CHAPTER! 


	2. Tea's Offer and a Client

Cricket: Mwahaha! Time for a new chapter!  
  
Avaline: This one will be written by Cricket. I get to write the one after it. *heh* *lies in wait*  
  
Hiroki: And I get to be the muse!  
  
Yami: Not for this chapter! *huggles Cricket*  
  
Cricket: ^^ I'm getting something...  
  
Yami: Heh... I'm gonna score!  
  
Cricket: -_- No you're not  
  
Hiroki: *doesn't think about that kind of thing... well, maybe SOMETIMES...*  
  
Avaline: *thinks about it too*  
  
Cricket: Enjoy my chapter of this little ficclet! Refreshments will be served in the lobby!! Oh, and I don't own Holiday Inn and hope to God that this fic doesn't piss them off, as it seems Seto does most of his "one-on- ones" with "clients" there.  
  
Seto waited in front of the school for his driver to pick him up, checking his watch every 4.5 seconds. Bastard. He was late, which made Seto late, and Seto HATED to be late...  
  
"Hey, Kaiba..."  
  
He shuddered. From one hell to another. Turning slowly on his sexy-ass heal, his bright sapphire eyes met with the feared steel blue ones that could only belong to one person. Tea Gardener.  
  
Tea used to be only mildly annoying. She'd never really bothered Seto in those days, the days when she followed Yugi and his pathetic friends around because of her undying passion for said Yugi. Later, once everyone realized that something was different about the shrimpy kid who got his look from lame-o eighties hair bands and that something different had a name (Yami Yugi) and a sexy personality all its own, well, Tea fell hard for the newcomer. When her affections were not returned, she became a real hard- ass. It was only a few days later that Seto had heard some kids talking about how she was in love with him. This was always funny to the young billionaire: Yami dumped her so she tried to get into Seto's nicely- tailored pants. To Seto, it was like asking for a dollar, getting turned down, and then asking for five grand.  
  
Now he was faced with this frightening girl in a Domino uniform, wishing even more desperately for his limo to show the hell up.  
  
"Good afternoon, Tea..." He sneered, then tried to turn away.  
  
"I just wanted to ask you a question..." She looked around to make sure they were alone. Shit, what did she want from him? He knew that if she even hinted at wanting to ask him out, he would have to laugh right in her face. Squaring his shoulders, he prepared for the worst.  
  
"The thing is... Well, there have been some rumors going around about you and this... business of yours... and I was just wondering if you'd like any new... customers... so to speak..."  
  
Seto stared. The comprehension of what she was saying to him slowly washed over his body like freezing-cold water. Seto had never BEEN so turned-off in his life.  
  
"So, what do ya think...?" As she said these last words, her Passion Pink fingernails ran down from his chin to just between the two top buttons in his uniform, which he'd already undone, do to the heat. Seto blinked. This conversation made him feel as if he would never be horny again.  
  
"I'd say that's a very nice offer, Tea..." He began, licking his lips softly to keep from gagging. "But... I don't rent to skanks."  
  
If there was a better time for Seto's limo to arrive, he wouldn't have known it. And when it did, he grinned at the shell-shocked Tea and simply said,  
  
"Caio."  
  
It was a few minutes after he got into the limo that he laughed out loud. What a whore! To come up to him after school while waiting for her mother to pick her up and say that! She was the only senior in the school who still had to get everywhere by parent transportation. How would she have explained this one to Mom? "Hey, could you drive me downtown to a really skanky motel so I can meet this friend? What'll we be doing there? Uh... homework!" Good, God! He'd never seen someone so desperate! Softly, he closed his eyes and leaned back against the leather seat.  
  
"Mr. Kaiba... We're here."  
  
Seto opened his eyes and looked out the window. It was raining softly, the sky was black. The car was parked in front of a Holiday Inn where he was supposed to meet his client. Seto thanked his driver and told him that he'd take a taxi home. He would most definitely be out for awhile. There was the matter of the client, of course, that would take some time, then going to the office to pick up some KaibaCorp files. After that, he had to, no... had the pleasure of, recruiting some new workers. Perfect.  
  
He entered the hotel, where the air-conditioning was on high and he shivered slightly after coming out of the rain. Slowly and thoroughly (the way he did everything ;P) Seto scanned the hotel lobby.  
  
A pair of wet but happy newlyweds was checking in at the front desk. Seto smiled. How did he know they were newlyweds, you ask? Why, the girl was still wearing her white veil. Plus, she couldn't keep her hands off the groom. An older couple was there as well, arguing. The man's eyes were weary and the woman looked old. Aside from a bellhop and the desk clerk, no one else was there. Then he saw a girl about his age standing against the wall, nervously fidgeting with a pack of cigarettes. Seto grinned and moved with graceful ease toward her.  
  
"Good evening. I'm Seto Kaiba. We spoke on the phone." He extended his hand.  
  
"Oh... Uh, yeah..." She took it politely. "They say that you're the best, I mean, ya know---"  
  
"They're usually right." He checked them in and whisked her effortlessly up the stairs.  
  
*******************  
  
She'd told him about the disagreement she'd had with her boyfriend, how, in her senior year, her grades were dropping, and that her parents were never there to talk to her. He knew that what he'd given her was someone to talk to, if just for a few hours, and an evening of steamy pleasures. She'd given him a cool $700, most of which, she said, she'd stolen from her parents. Seto supposed the exchange was reasonable.  
  
As she turned to leave the hotel, she turned and kissed his neck softly. She winked and smiled.  
  
"Was nice knowing ya..."  
  
"You too..." He said as he closed the door to Room 297.  
  
As he got ready to go, he looked up at the mirror of the hotel bathroom. Slowly, he smiled and narrowed his eyes.  
  
"Damn... She gave me a hickey." As usual, he turned up the collar of his green shirt before he put on his trench coat. That way, no one would notice. He threw his school uniform into the briefcase he'd brought his street clothes in, stole a bar of hotel soap (as was his custom) and left the Holiday Inn.  
  
************************************************  
  
Cricket: This fic is way too much fun to write.  
  
Avaline: Weh-heh! My turn now, my turn now! *sits down at the computer*  
  
Hiroki: *hovers over her like a good muse should*  
  
Yami: When do I get to be in the fic?  
  
Cricket: Soon, my friend... So very, very soon... Please review! Those who do get Pistachios!  
  
Yami: Bribing people with Pistachios, now?  
  
Cricket: If it'll get me reviews...  
  
Yami: *-_-;* Okay...  
  
Avaline: *writing and suddenly finds something very funny* WEH-Heh-heh-heh! 


End file.
